sln1987 (sln1987) wrote,

Pomba Gira/ PantheaCon

I love Pomba Gira, I love dancing away with a whole lot of other pagans. Right now I am feeling sad I cannot enjoy the whole experience.

Being an introvert as well as an empath, it takes a lot of trust to be able to open myself up completely. Since I do not know most of the people in the room, there was no way I was going to do that. So this just becomes a place to dance, like the Saturday night drum jamb. I freaked out at the thought of my friends not getting in and having to dance by myself, I am glad they got in but sometimes being the 5th wheel can be tiring.

Also I cannot do meaningless sex, sometimes I wish I could. I am sure it would do me some good do to be able to have some sustained human contact, but I need to know a person as well as able to trust someone to become intimate with them. Plus nature made sure that I could not do that this weekend if I had decided to say screw it. I am clean and healthy and I plan to stay that way, I am not sure guys would be honest with me about any STD's if they thought they could get lucky. Also I could still see I am attracted to those who act like assholes so it is good that I stay single. I don't need to add those people into my life.

And Ladies, just because I did not show any interest at the guy who came and danced in my little circle of friends does not mean I am bat with a different team so don't start bumping into me to get my attention.

Maybe one day I can open up and get the full effect but until then I will go and enjoy what I can from the experience.
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